10.01.2015

Monkalong, Post the First: "vanquishing the impetuous ebullitions of Youth"


   Can we all just agree upfront that Matthew Lewis is The Worst at foreshadowing and suspense? There I was, planning to reveal my mental acuity by saying "Rosario: totes a lady" when bam: ML decides that one chapter is plenty of time to build Rosario's story and OMGOSH, Matilda of the Beauteous Orb?  Also, I am sure we are all aware that DUH, Ambrosio, tool of the century, is the presumed-dead baby of yore, and ergo Antonia's big bro, to which I say: why are so many ladies falling in insta-love with a self-righteous monk? And it's also pretty clear that Rosatilda sucked the snake venom from Ambrosio's wound? Oh wait, I typed that before finishing the chapter and it has already been revealed that YES, she did indeed do some poison transference, and then her and Ambrosio made out a whole bunch, and then she presumably died. It was a full chapter.

You really lay it on thick, M.Lew
   Here is a thing which will drive me to distraction: so much Capitalization of whatever Nouns and other Words Matty Lew sees fit. WHY.

   How much do we love the sassy Aunt? So much? I mean, she swears! Speaking of which: this book is racy for 179whatever. Taking the Lord's name in vain! A lady with beauteous orbs! Make-outs which are probably code for sexy times! A nun pregnant out of wedlock! SO MANY THINGS.

   All ridiculousness aside, M.Lew does make a few good points in chapters one and two, namely: can someone really say they are immune to temptation and evil if they have simply never been tempted? And isn't self-righteous pride a sneaky and harmful tendency? And this: Vice is ever most dangerous when lurking behind the Mask of Virtue"? You are bonkers, M.Lew, and your book is bonkers, but you make a couple good points. 

   Readalonging! Once more into the breach, dear friends.

ready 4 teh Monk

8 comments:

  1. I'm actually not entirely sure how racy this was for the 18th century. The 18th century was full of pervs, man. Then the Romantics were still pretty pervy (but still 18th century into 19th) and then the Victorians were the Romantics' kids who were like "FUCK THIS, CENSOR ALL THE THINGS but also maybe have a very large underground of p.o.r.n." (will that keep away spambots? LET'S SEE)

    Super-psyched to see where this is going.

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    1. Sometimes my brain fills in the past with a blank space between the Tudors and the Victorians and so I'm all "oh yeah, history, errbody being v. proper" BUT you are definitely right. How could I forget the centuries of pervs?

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  2. I liked how Aunt L admits that she tried to sell her goods to Ambrosia's grandfather back in the day, but he wasn't having it!

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  3. I... Feel like I wasn't paying close enough attention when I was reading because I was constantly like 'SHOCKED' and I'm good with that! Like, I just thought Rosario (or Rosatilda BEST THING EVER) was just kind of gay...

    Bonkers is totally the word for it. I'm pretty excited for some more, I can't lie.

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    1. I think as this book progresses I'll be expecting crazier and crazier things and at some point MLew will fail to follow through on some expected shenanigans and I will be stunned.

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  4. I did NOT anticipate Rosario = Matilda, though I do assume Ambrosio=Antonia's bro. I really hoping there's no weird sexing there.

    I AM GLAD YOU WERE ALSO BOTHERED BY THE WEIRD CAPITALIZATION. I kept thinking a new sentence was starting and it was just "Oh this time you decided to capitalize 'person'. But not the last time that word came up cos that would have been ridiculous."

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  5. THE FORESHADOWING. I don't even know if it's that, really, so much as telegraphing. Every time he breaks into rhyme, he's giving up individual future plot points. And YET I'm still surprised at every turn. Because that's how nuts this book is.

    I'm not too surprised about everyone falling in love with Antonio. This sort of thing happens ALL the time in churches, because the women are hunting for a holy husband and the holier the better. I remember there was this one guy in my youth group who very publicly renounced dating for a year, and his immediate vicinity transformed into The Bachelor and then he was married and having a baby.

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