7.07.2014

Redefining Girly / Melissa Atkins Wardy


   This book wasn't quite what I wanted it to be, but that it not to say that it wasn't insightful and valuable. It is less cultural research and examination and more practical parenting advice to implement, so if you read it and you don't have children, you might get somewhat less out of it than the author intended. However: recognizing the severe sexualization of young girls is the first step towards remedying it, and this book will definitely raise your awareness.

   Basically, this book is a big reminder that girls become women, and carry the things they learn in childhood about their potential, their value, their abilities, and their purpose into adulthood and pass them on to the people around them (including their children, if they have any). If girls in elementary school are told that they need to be sexy to be acceptable, then we have a problem. Girls don't have to wear pink. Girls don't have to play with dolls that have waists smaller than their heads. Girls can be interested in dinosaurs/cars/science. (on the flip side: boys don't have to wear blue. Boys don't have to play with toys that glorify violence. Boys can be interested in dolls/baking/dance.) Why not encourage a young girl to explore and adventure and allow her to pursue things that interest her, instead of indulging in exploitative and restrictive cultural values? Seems like a beneficial trade to me.

   Also, there are a myriad of things you can praise a young girl for besides her appearance. Yes, little girls are adorable and you can tell them so. You can also tell them that they are clever, or a hard worker, or a fast runner, or helpful, or courageous, or interesting, or kind, or creative, or strong, or so many other things. Conventional attractiveness is a dangerous thing to overemphasize, as I am sure we all know. Maybe, just maybe, telling girls that their value is inherent instead of earned through being pretty/sexy/hot will result in women who respect their bodies, who pursue their goals, and who have a less complicated time being vital contributors to society.

   To sum up the book: treat young people as if they are complex human beings with a variety of tastes and passions, and don't allow young children to be sexualized. Pretty simple. Everybody benefits.

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